Late Night
by Wicked White Queen
Summary: A few years after graduation, Miyuki is still taking care of Shizuma. Rated M for a reason...actually, rated M for several reasons. Reviews are great, if readers feel so inclined.
1. Chapter 1

Note: Rated M. This fic is chock-full of adult situations, including but not limited to: cursing, alcohol, sex, a pair of broken Neiman Marcus strappy heels, and...well, there's some other stuff, but you get the idea. Read not, faint-of-heart or those-easily-offended. I've warned you. Also, I don't own the characters, nor do I own the series. This will be my only disclaimer. Repeated disclaimers at the beginning of _every _chapter of fanfics annoy the hell out of me.

I also plan to do this fic a couple of different ways. I want to use the same basic situation, but write it as a humorous fic, then I want to do a much more serious drama. So, first up...the humorous version. I'll post the serious version later. Also, this first chapter is fairly short. The next should be longer. Any feedback at all is appreciated.

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_Ring, ring_

_Ring, ring_

_Ring, ri..._

"Hello...? Wait...what's wrong? You're _where? _Christ..."

"Who's callin' so damned late?"

Irritated, Miyuki slapped her husband's questing hand away and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. The sudden change in temperature from the warm blankets to the chilly floorboards made her grimace as her feet hit the floor. Ugh. Time to buy a rug.

Or a hammer. A big hammer. That phone had to go.

Until her very pleasant dreams were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the bedside phone, Miyuki was having a rare good night. Dinner was a success, the dishes were back in the appropriate cupboards, and the house was spotless. She finished her dissertation, rehearsed her presentation, picked out the _perfect _suit to wear to the interview on Friday...

True, the interview was a few days away, but she didn't get so far by being lazy, thank you very much.

Of course, she finally made it to bed after all of this and her husband had thankfully decided that he just wasn't in the mood. One look at her exhausted brown eyes told him all he needed to know. If he expected a little affection, then he could try petting the cat, because that was the closest he was getting to pussy that night.

Ooh-de-lally.

Cursing loudly when her toe came into sharp contact with a chest of drawers, Miyuki continued to talk to the person on the line while she fumbled in the darkness for some clothes. Rather, she tried to talk, but it was difficult to converse when the other party was either a) drunk, b) stoned, c) drunk _and _stoned, or d) Shizuma. And considering that it was indeed Shizuma on the line, choices a, b, and c didn't seem that far-fetched at all.

"No, stop. Slow down. Why the hell are you crying? No, I heard you. Yes, I know that bar. Wait. Are you _laughing_at me? So, I guess you don't really need me to pick you up then, right? Oh God, don't start crying again. Yes, I just need to get dressed and then..." Miyuki was glad that she decided to leave the lamp turned off when she left the bed. Her burning cheeks would have made her husband ask questions, and she _certainly _didn't want to divulge what Shizuma just suggested. "What? Of course I'll be alone. Why would I be...? Are you serious? How drunk are you? No, just give me half an hour. Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes."

Fully awake after hearing Shizuma's husky voice ask a question like _that, _Miyuki glanced to the slumbering form of her husband, who had apparently decided his wife's lack of tears and/or screaming meant that the call wasn't an emergency. "Hey! Wake up!"

"Whatsamatter?"

Smiling, she replaced the phone on the charger and sat down to put on her shoes. There were times when it felt as if she hadn't really gained a husband so much as adopted a child. "I've got to pick up a friend before she wrecks that cute little Porsche of hers on the freeway. Then I'll have to take her home, and she lives over an hour from here, so..."

"Right...hour, Porsche, hour...zzzz..."

"I may be a while, so don't wait up."

"Ummkay..."

Confident in her ability to handle whatever situation she encountered, he rolled over and went back to sleep.

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_Oh Nagisa...why did the fates tear us apart like this? Why did you leave me? Why has our love met yet another obstacle meant to...wait a tic...why am I in somebody's backseat? Did I get lucky? I'm still dressed...damn it. Who the hell...?_

A bit surprised to find that she wasn't still weeping on the sidewalk in front of _Fool Around Frankie's_, Shizuma opened one bleary green eye and tried to figure out who exactly had saved her.

Groaning, she ran her fingers through her hair and tried to make herself a bit more presentable. Too many cosmopolitans and too many shots of tequila meant the graceful former _Etoile _wasn't quite as graceful when she lurched her way out of the popular bar. It wasn't her fault, though. If Nagisa hadn't abandoned her after finding out that the little whore Tamao was at a midnight book-signing just up the street, then she wouldn't have been forced to drink so much. And if she hadn't been forced to drink so much, then she wouldn't have gone outside to cry about the cruelty of the love-gods (because surely a love goddess would have been merciful and willing to listen to her plight), then she wouldn't have been forced to call...

"Miyuki!" This realization parted the alcohol-induced fog long enough for her to climb to a sitting position and wrap her arms around both the back of the driver's seat and her best friend's neck. "Oh, Miyuki! You came! It's been awful! I had to sit through three hours of karaoke and I actually had to pay for my first drink!"

Miyuki, well aware that Shizuma was accustomed to the gravity-defying powers of her magnificent cleavage obtaining free drinks, shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Hmm. It must have been awful for you."

"Oh, you just don't understand! I was there with Nagisa, then some fool came in and mentioned that Tamao slut..."

Miyuki couldn't help but smile. "Yes, she's quite the success, isn't she? A best-selling novelist in over thirteen countries, a movie deal in the works based on one of her books, interviews on _all _the talk shows..."

Shizuma's grip tightened on Miyuki's throat, but the risk of strangulation was _so _worth it. Whatever perfume the silver-haired temptress was wearing smelled _really _good, so Miyuki wasn't entirely opposed to having that slender arm draped around her shoulders. Yummy. "Even Oprah _herself _had to be put on her waiting list. She's certainly made a name for herself since school, hasn't she?"

"Fucking slut! I'll kill the bitch! And now she has my Nagisa! Oh, Nagisa....why? Why? Why?" Shizuma wailed of her misfortune until she collapsed in the backseat, lulled to sleep by the combination of alcohol and the rhythmic hum of the tires.

The spiteful part of Miyuki was dancing a jig at the fall of the mighty Shizuma, but the rest of her was considering pulling the car over and taking her poor, heartbroken friend into her arms and...

_I swear to God, if it wasn't for this whole being-married-and-Shizuma-having-absolutely-no-interest-in-me thing, I would park this car right now and..._

Her foot must have left the gas pedal at some point in her lusty musings, because a car horn blared right behind her and made her jump. Shaking her head to clear it of less-than-chaste images, she shifted gears and sped up the street to Shizuma's townhouse.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm telling you that she'll want to see me!"

"Sorry ma'am, but I'll have to ask you to move to the back of the line."

"I went to school with her! She knows me!"

The security guard standing at the door of the crowded bookstore pinched the bridge of his nose. He thought it was bad when he had to work the midnight release for the last Harry Potter book, and he thought it was really, _really _bad when he had to break the nose of some sacrilegious idiot that dared disagree with one of Oprah's book-of-the-month club selections, but this book signing was absolute bedlam. There were people _everywhere. _Some looked to be as young as nine or ten years old, holding the hands of their glassy eyed parents, while others looked to be way too old to be at a book signing for a novel about one girl's misadventures in an all-girl Catholic school. The creepy old guy with the trench-coat and knee high socks by the comic books _certainly _didn't look like he belonged at an event that attracted so many young women.

Management ordered the coffee bar closed after a gaggle of hyper-caffeinated girls tore down the shelves for the true crime section to make room for their 'WE LOVE TAMAO' displays and posters; they were also forced to call in extra security when it seemed that there would be a riot after everyone thought that the store had depleted its supply of commemorative bookmarks featuring a photo of the author holding a tape measure and looking rather…frisky.

The security guard knew that there was a peculiar breed of female that happened to like other females, but he thought that they all wore chains on their wallets, smoked cigars, drove transfer trucks, and listened to the Indigo Girls. Until he was called in for the extra shift, he didn't realize that they came in squealing, screaming, sighing…_sexy-as-hell-in-those-schoolgirl-uniforms-wait-a-second-I-don't-think-they're-legal-oh-my-God-I'm-a-complete-pervert-my-wife-would-kill-me-if-she-knew-that-I'm-lusting-over-teenage-lesbians-at-a-midnight-book-signing_…umm, varieties.

Pointing to group of handcuffed girls wearing rather revealing school uniforms lined against the wall, he asked, "Do you see those girls over there?"

Nagisa peeked around his ample gut and pouted her lips. She didn't see what the hell a bunch of sluts wearing knock-off Miator uniforms had to do with anything. "Yeah, so? In those cheap-ass costumes, it looks like they're the supporting cast for a bad porno."

"Well, every damn one of 'em told me that they went to school with the author, then they tried to sneak past me, so I had to cuff 'em. If you try to get past me, it'll be the same for you. Got it?"

Nagisa jabbed the security guard in the belly and felt her finger sink to the second knuckle. Gross. Ah well. Sacrifices had to be made and if she had to manhandle a really fat obnoxious man in order to see Tamao, then so be it. It was still pretty fucking icky though. "Let me tell you something Buster…I had to leave a smoking hot chick at a bar to make it to this book signing in such a hurry. If I had stayed, I guarantee you that I would be getting screwed in the backseat of her car, but I gave up the chance to get laid so I could see my old friend. Now you can just move aside so that I can…what the hell are you doing? Is that a taser? No! Don't you point that thing at me! No! Stop! Don't you dare think that you can fucking…"

_Zzzzzzzzzzz-tt-zzzzzzzzzzzz-tt-zzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

The security guard rolled Nagisa's unconscious and slightly twitching form to the side so that the foot traffic wouldn't be impeded. There were still hundreds of people lined up on the sidewalk eager to have their first editions of _Red Ribbon Unraveled _signed by the writer, and he meant to see that every single one of them got their frickin' autograph.

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"Keys, Shizuma! Where the hell are your keys?! It's starting to rain!" Panting after dragging Shizuma for over six blocks, Miyuki leaned the rather limber form of her friend against the door of her townhouse and began searching for her keys.

Shizuma's townhouse might have been designed by one of _the _most sought-after architects in the city and it might have been located in one of _the _trendiest neighborhoods and it might have been only a short drive from _the_ most exclusive clubs and cafes, but the parking just sucked.

Six. Fucking. Blocks.

Ugh.

Dumping her purse onto the marble steps, Miyuki dropped to her knees and sifted through tampons, lipstick, credit cards, condoms…

What the _fuck_?

…chewing gum and parking tickets, trying to find Shizuma's keys before they were thoroughly soaked by the ever-increasing rainfall. Though it was a comfortably warm night, the rain plastering her hair to her cheeks was cold enough to make her wish that she had grabbed a jacket.

"Shizuma!"

"Uhhh?"

"Wake up!" Miyuki lightly slapped Shizuma across her cheek and watched her eyes flicker. "Come on! We're getting soaked out here!"

"Christ, I'll do it later! Always nagging…nag, nag, nag…" Irritated, Shizuma knocked Miyuki's hand away and covered her eyes, once more trying to fall asleep. Hearing the tone in her friend's voice through the fog in her brain, she was transported back to school, dodging Miyuki and evading her duties as _Etoile. _"It's always the…_hic…_the same with you…_hic…_naggin' me about somethin'…I told you I'll…_hzzzzzz…_"

"Don't you pass out again! Where are your keys?" Miyuki began her search anew, tossing random items into the bushes so they wouldn't get in her way, though she pocketed the expensive lipstick. Shizuma would never miss it. That shade of mauve was _completely _wrong for her complexion. It was much better suited to Miyuki's dark hair and eyes, so surely her best friend wouldn't mind if she took it off her hands…or off her lips, rather. Whatever.

Distracted by the sheer amount of debris in her purse, Miyuki never noticed that the rain had sobered professional alcoholic Shizuma enough for her to creep closer and wrap her arms around her waist. By the time that she felt Shizuma's long fingers slide under her damp shirt and brush her skin, she had completely forgotten about the keys. _Well, who really needs keys after all? It's not as if they're going to end world hunger or stop the next war or…bloody fucking hell! What am I thinking? Weigh your options, Miyuki. Pros versus cons. First of all, we're outside and she has a lot of neighbors, so we'll list that on the cons. However, I've wanted her to touch me since I started growing tits, and her hands are DEFINITELY northward bound, so that's a big pro. Hmm. It's raining and it's getting kind of cold, so that's another con. But then again, I am rather chilly and her hands are certainly warm, plus she's breathing in my ear, so another pro, and she's doing that super sexy throaty thing with her voice…pro… and she is pressed right against my ass…pro… and her arms are…oh God. There are way too many pros here. I am so fucked. _

"Hmm…you won't find them in my purse, Miyuki. I seem to remember leaving my key right…here…between your…oh!" Purring against Miyuki's throat, Shizuma slowly moved her hand along her belly, tracing a warm path under the soaked cotton, suddenly topping the steady progression of her fingers when she remembered that her keys were in her pocket. Jerking her hand from Miyuki's shirt, she reached in her extraordinarily tight jeans and retrieved her keys. "Hold on a tic. They're right here!"

Pushing to her feet and somehow managing to force the key into the lock, she stumbled inside and found a light switch. "Come on! You've not even seen my new place yet!" Though her speech was still somewhat slurred from all the booze, Shizuma continued to jabber about her new townhouse, praising the luxurious carpet and fireplaces, but lamenting the fact that her neighbors were old-fashioned types that never came to her swingers parties.

"They actually have the _nerve _to pull the drapes when I walk around the place naked! Why, just yesterday I was doing aerobics in the living room, when the old bitch next door came pounding on my window, telling me that she could see my boobs jiggle every time I did my lunges and I told her that it was to be expected, since I can't exercise with clothes on. I just get so sweaty and slippery that it's impossible for me to even _consider _wearing anything except a headband, but she just threw her hands in the air and threatened to call the cops. Can you believe that shit, Miyuki? I mean, what would you do if you saw me doing squats and lunges in the buff? You certainly wouldn't call the cops, would you?"

Lost in yesterday's argument with her neighbor, Shizuma failed to notice that a near-homicidal Miyuki was still on her knees on the front steps, completely soaked from the…rain. Yes, the rain.

_Bitch, you are so dead. I drag myself out of bed to save your drunk ass from certain frat-boy molestation, then you have the nerve to torment me by making me imagine you naked, sweaty, bouncing, in handcuffs, AND being frisked. People have killed for much less and I'm near the breaking point so…_

Perhaps realizing that Miyuki hadn't answered her, Shizuma turned back to the door and saw her best friend on her knees. Amused, she grabbed her by the arm and pulled her inside, smiling when Miyuki narrowed her eyes. "Now what are you still doing on the steps? It is raining and your shirt is clinging to your…to your…wow." Shizuma had long been aware that Miyuki had all of the requisite bits that made women so desirable for her, but for some odd reason she had never taken the time to really _appreciate _those particular bits. Now that two of those bits were on high alert because of the chilly weather, she wondered if she might have made a mistake. Miyuki was fucking _stacked_.

Pulling her closer so that she could get a better look, Shizuma murmured, "Umm, I can't show you the, umm, the… new tv I placed in the bedroom if you don't come inside."

"Bedroom?!"

_Okay, maybe I'm not feeling quite as murderous as I thought I was a second ago. Hmm…bedrooms are known to have beds, which are known to be used for a very exclusive list of activities: a) sleeping, b) fucking, c) making little mattress forts, and d) fucking. I'm pretty sure Shizuma is a pacifist, so the mattress fort is out, and she slept most of the way here, so I think sleeping is now out of the question, which leaves options b and d. Oh, there is a God and he loves me…_

Shizuma beamed when she saw the expression on Miyuki's face. It was flattering to know that she still had such an effect on her sex-starved friend. "Yes, bedroom. You do want to see it, don't you?"

She had planned on showing Nagisa a few new moves that she learned from a Tibetan fortune teller that kept buying her tequila shots, but now that the red-haired slut was off whoring around with that weird writer chick, she thought she could give Miyuki the ride of a lifetime.

Hey, she owed her for the ride home, right?

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"Nagisa looks so cute when she's asleep, doesn't she?"

"I don't know about that ma'am. She's drooling."

Tamao gently wiped the thin trail of drool from Nagisa's chin and pocketed the tissue. Next to the candles, photographs, notes exchanged in class, retainer, and plastic baggie filled with hair stolen from her brush when they were still roomies, the tissue would make a fine addition to the shrine erected in Nagisa's honor.

But then again…

Why take home only a soggy tissue when the reason for the shrine was stretched out on the floor of a bookstore, unconscious, unbearably cute, and _completely_ unsuspecting? Grinning when she imagined how much _cuter_ Nagisa would be when she saw the effort she put into her altar, Tamao gestured for the security guard to help her drag the snoring girl to her car. "Help me get her into my backseat so I can take her home. You really didn't have to shoot her with that shocky thingamijig, you know, but in a way, I'm glad you did. Now she won't wake up until I have her tied up in my basement…er, I mean, safe at home."

"I'm awfully sorry about that, ma'am. I thought she was lying just to get closer to you…"

Tamao zoned out after hearing this. The thought of Nagisa fighting tooth and nail against a nigh-insurmountable adversary simply to be closer to her was enough to make her want to write a new novel with her oh-so-cute buddy as the protagonist.

"Ah, Nagisa…so very, very cute and so very, very mine."

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Note: I'm going to use the most extreme examples of some of the behavior demonstrated by the characters in this fic. Tamao could be a _little_ obsessive at times (but I love her anyway), Shizuma was a frickin' whore, Nagisa was an idiot (when she wasn't being all super-dramatic and clingy), Miyuki was dying to get laid…so on and so forth. Should be fun. We'll see how it goes. Cheers!


	3. Chapter 3

_Drip._

_Drip._

_Drip..._

Nagisa groggily opened her eyes to find herself in a cold, dank room. The earthy scent of mold met her nostrils and she wrestled with a ferocious sneeze as she absorbed her new and _extremely _uncomfortable surroundings.

_Holy hell! Where am I? Why is it so dark? Oh God! I bet they've locked me in the bookstore!_

She turned her head to the left when a faint jingling shattered the eerie silence. Was that a hook hanging from the ceiling? And what the hell were chains doing all over the wall? Nagisa thought that she might be able to see better if the ropes holding her to her chair weren't quite so tight and...

_Wait one damn minute! What the hell am I doing tied up in a chair and in...fuck me! I'm tied up in somebody's basement! Okay, okay...don't panic girl. Don't panic! You've been through worse than this. Remember the Etoile election? Remember how much of a bitch Miyuki was? Yeah, remember dancing until you had those gnarly blisters and your ankles were so swollen Tamao asked you if you might be preggers? Yeah, this isn't that bad..._

_Oh fuck me! Is that a chainsaw on that table?!_

Struggling mightily against her bonds, she fought to free herself even as she fought the panic swelling in her gut...

_No! Don't panic! Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic..._

"Hello? Help me! Help!" Her terrified pleas echoed against the damp stones of her prison, though it seemed that nobody would come to her aid. Vocal layers resonated with the soft whispers of seclusion until she thought she would go mad from her own wild notions.

_Oh God, I'm going to die here and I never got to really understand what the hell voulez vous coucher avec moi means! Damn it straight to hell! I should have studied harder! Then I might really know what Shizuma meant when she kept jabbering about a menage a trois! Oh, now I'm to be butchered in a basement and I never got to experience Shizuma's 'love in three dimensions'. _

Somewhere far above Nagisa's head, a gravelly voice from a loudspeaker slowly said, "Why, hello Nagisa! Welcome to the first night of your dark eternity!"

Nagisa's eyes widened when the vibrations from this throaty declaration ceased their somewhat exhilarating vibrations on the metal folding chair underneath her ass.

"Who's there? Why am I here? What do you want with me? If this is about that ping-pong table incident, I _swear _that I had no idea that Shizuma could shoot a ball _that _far, so those guys have no reason to say that we were hustling them! We were just..."

"Silence! I have no interest in your friend! I'm much more interested in _you, _dear Nagisa. Are you comfortable?"

_Comfortable? Who the hell is this joker? Of course I'm not fucking comfortable! I'm tied up tighter than the time that Shizuma used four of her bras to tie me to the bedposts, so no, I ain't comfy!_

Instead of angering her host, Nagisa wisely decided to play along. "Umm...yeah, I'm super comfortable! Like, totally! For real!"

The voice from the speaker sounded amused. "Are you now? Well, well! That is indeed a shame, because I fully intend on witnessing your grand entrance into a depressing world of discomfort and pain, a world of tragedy and melancholic splendor...a world of icky nasty stuff."

"You want what now?"

Booming laughter filled the void. "Why, dear Nagisa, I expect to hear you scream when I peel the flesh from your bones..."

"Peel my...? Oh please mister! I'll do whatever you want! Umm....my parents are rich, yeah! So, they'll pay whatever you ask! Don't hurt me! Please!"

"I care not for money..."

Shrill shrieks chased the timid echoes from their corners before they even had the chance to umm....echo. "Please! Let me go! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The booming laughter boomed even harder. It was a laugh that had a lot of experience in booming. "Oh my child, you'll have to do much better than that if you expect any mercy from me!"

"EEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!"

"Hmm...still not satisfactory. I am _not _pleased with you, Nagisa."

"I'm so sorry! I'll do better!"

The voice seemed exasperated even as it seemed amused. "Never mind. We'll move to the next thing..."

Nagisa gulped. "Wh-what next thing?!"

"Heh....do you see that lotion on the floor?"

Nagisa scanned the floor in a hurried panic...

_No, I'm not panicking. I don't even know the meaning of the word..._

"Umm...yes, I see it."

"Good." If she hadn't been seconds away from pissing herself in true mortal fear, Nagisa might have noticed the slight lisp and mischievous taunt in the mysterious speaker's voice. "Now, it puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!"

Blinking in confusion, Nagisa asked, "Hose? What hose? You mean like, fishnets or flesh tones?"

"What? No! I mean the water hose!"

"Oh." Nagisa blinked hard. "Really? 'Cause, it's pretty damp down here in the first place, so I don't think that adding that much moisture to the environment would be a good thing, unless you're in the fungus business and then I'm sure that you're all about some dark, danky ickiness. Ain't nothin' like some dark, emo darkness to grow some 'shrooms!"

"Shush! I umm, mean to squirt you with the water hose if you continue to defy me!"

Nagisa nodded in very agreeable agreement. It was cold as hell in that damned basement and she _really _didn't want to be sprayed with a water hose. "I'm sorry, just please don't spray me with the hose! My naughty bits will get all pointy, then Shizuma will have to fend off hordes of slobbering fangirls..."

But Shizuma wasn't there and Nagisa found herself making decisions of her own, for a temporary change.

Pleading with her captor, Nagisa begged, "Please! It's so cold in here and I simply can't defend myself against my hopelessly optimistic fans, so have mercy! I'll do better, I swear!"

"Better? Yes...better..."

Nagisa frowned. She had already agreed to improve, so why the bloody hell did that fucking detached demonic voice get to decide that it would be the one to get all dramatic?

Oh hell no.

Not with Nagisa on watch!

Overly dramatic displays of affection and even MORE dramatic displays of misguided and selfish love were of course her area of expertise, so Nagisa was more than ready for mere _drama. _

Pssht! As if!

"Never mind, Nagisa. We'll just move to the next item. Do you see that bottle of lotion on the floor?"

"Umm...yes?"

The voice cackled, in obvious glee over its prize and her discomfort. "Excellent. Now, it puts the lotion on its skin..."

"But. I'm tied up, so I can't even squeeze the bottle..."

"SHHSSH! It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!"

Frustrated, Nagisa shuffled and hopped in her hobbled sextuple affair until she came close to the pink bottle on the ground. Scooting as close as she could, she managed to kick the lid off of the bottle and stomp on the bottle, squirting a thin stream of lotion on the damp floor. The light, fruity fragrance seemed very, very familiar to her...

_God, this lotion smells really good! Kind of like that stuff I used to steal from Tamao when I snuck off to meet Shizuma for those WILD dates! _

"Hey Crazy Kidnapper, this lotion smells great!"

"Of course it does! It's 'Bubbles and Berries' by Francois! I had to make a special order all the way from...wait a tic! Shut the hell up!"

"Ooh, sorry!"

The voice coughed and sputtered, then once more assumed its previous menacing tone. "Enough chatter! Put the lotion on your skin!"

Nagisa wiggled until she had some lotion on her toes, praying that the small amount covering her neon green nail polish would be enough to appease the furious (and somewhat insane) lotion spirits. "Umm...okay! It's on my skin, so no more hose again, right?"

The voice seemed pleased. "Yes, very good. I like to see your toes all lubed up and ...ahem! Never mind! Now! It puts the fucking lotion in the baaaaaaaaaaasket!"

Nagisa frowned. Was it just her, or had the scratchy voice overhead just taken on a much more sinister and far, far more comical tone? Who the hell said baaaaaaaaaaaasket like that?

"Umm, I don't see a baaaaaaaaaaaasket anywhere."

"Oh really? I could have sworn that I placed one with a cute red ribbon right next to your...ahem!" Perhaps deciding that enough time had been wasted, the voice declared, "Never mind! You have angered me! Now you must face my wrath! Turn and face your doom! Mwahahahhaaa!"

What little light remained in the dungeon was quickly extinguished, making Nagisa squeal in the inky blackness of night. Without a doubt, she was doomed to die a sticky, yucky death at the hands of a lotion-loving madman.

Rapid footsteps and the screech of cold steel dragged along rough concrete made Nagisa scream until she thought her throat might rebel and set up a picket line protest.

"NO! PLEASE! STOP! DON'T KILL ME! DON'T LOP OFF MY HEAD WITH THAT AXE OR MACHETE OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DRAGGING BEHIND YOU! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!!!!!"

Hot breath and the cheerful berry scent of lotion in her ear, Nagisa closed her eyes and waited for the death blow. When it didn't fall, she warily opened one eye and peeked at her captor.

Chuckling, the evil voice said, "Hmm. You say you'll do _anything?"_

"Yes! Anything! I'm serious! Prison blow jobs to renaissance faire maypole twirlings, silent pornography script readings to lipstick lesbian greeting cards...whatever you want, I'm game!"

"Oh really? Well, in that case..." A brief hesitation and the voice said, "...let's have a picnic!"

Nagisa's eyes burned when bright lights suddenly flared and illuminated the basement with unexpected warmth. Warily opening the other eye, she looked to her side and saw Tamao pressing _stop _on a portable recording device. Terrified for her friend's safety as well as her own, she whispered, "Tamao? Are you here to be gutted like a fish too?"

"What?"

Nagisa jumped and Tamao realized that she still had the voice alteration box up to her lips. Giggling, she began undoing Nagisa's ropes, carefully extracting her friend from her intricate knots. "You silly goose! We're not gutting each other! We're just having a picnic!"

Blanching an even paler shade of traumatized white, Nagisa blurted, "Y-y-y-you mean that was _you _saying those-those awful things?"

Tamao giggled again and held the alteration box to her lips. "What's your _favorite_ scary movie?"

Too much, too fast...

Nagisa lost consciousness just as Tamao started pressing rewind to hear those sweet, sweet screams all over again.

_Oh Nagisa...it's been so long since that summer and I've not heard your oh-so-cute screams in ages. I was afraid that living with Shizuma might have changed that beautiful voice of yours, but I'm glad to see that I was wrong! Now I have a whole new set of screams to enjoy while I shower with...ahem! You know what? Never mind about that. It's just enough that you've collapsed at my feet again, all super cute and cuddly. _

_Now the real fun can begin..._

_-----------------------------------------------------_

Note: Okay, so the first thing that I thought of when Tamao recorded Nagisa's screams during summer camp was _Silence of the Lambs._ Tamao is a real freak sometimes. Not just a cute little anime freak...but a _freak man! _Honestly! Who the hell records screams?

Serial killer, much?

Also, I made a couple of references to the _Scream _movies.

Next chapter will be full of Shizuma trying to get into Miyuki's pants.

Will she succeed?

Will Miyuki finally get laid?

Tune in next week! Potential comic lemon ahead! Ahoy matey! Argh!


End file.
